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An Apology to Myself

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Are you a woman or a young girl like myself who has abused yourself whether it has been through eating disorders such as anorexia or bulimia, self-criticism, self-harm, or allowed the world to steal your joy and twist God’s truth by convincing you to believe lies? I want you to know that there is hope. I want you to know that you don’t have to keep abusing yourself anymore. It is possible to view yourself in a whole new perspective; specifically, God’s perspective.

This is a blog post that was written for those who have abused yourself in someway and to give hope that you don’t have to keep abusing yourself anymore.

Ladies, here is my background:

I am a perfectionist. I fear imperfection. In fact, I am afraid of a lot of things… Actually almost everything. I am fearful about my impure past and I have believed lies that my future husband may not want me after knowing what I have done. I struggle with anxiety and have had numerous of anxiety attacks. I am insecure about my body and starved myself for years because I wanted the perfect body. I have harshly criticized myself when I have not looked “perfect enough” or completed a task “perfectly.” I am afraid of failure and humiliating God, my family, and myself. I am someone who has allowed Satan and the world to steal my joy and fill my head with unhealthy thoughts that are NOT TRUTH.

Recently, I have chosen to truly apologize to myself for abusing myself with Satan’s lies. I stared at myself into the mirror and took several hours apologizing to every body part that I have cursed as well as every fear and insecurity that has overtaken my life. I am tired of letting his lies hold me back from who I am becoming and the call upon my life. I have taken ownership over my mind, soul, and body. Satan does not have permission to own me or you.

Ladies, Satan is a murderer who has been after my soul and has attempted to destroy who I am becoming. He is a liar. He is my accuser, but he has no hold on me because I am forever the daughter of the one true King. Satan cannot hold my guilt, shame, or past against me anymore. He does not have permission to push my face into the guilt of what I have done or said to myself. His lies are nothing compared to God’s pure truth.

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Philippians 4:8-9

I want you to know some of God’s truth:

  • You are beautiful.

“You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.”

Song of Solomon 4:7

  • You are imperfect as a human being but perfect the way God has created you.

“For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.”

Psalm 139:13-15

  • You are good enough.

“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,”

Ephesians 2:8

  • You are not a failure.

“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

Psalm 73:26

  • You are pure.

“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”

Psalm 51:10

  • You are loved.

“Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”

1 John 4:8

  • You can experience peace.

“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.”

1 Peter 5:7

  • You are capable.

“And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

Philippians 1:6

  • You are worthy.

“Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? And not one of them is forgotten before God. Why, even the hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not; you are of more value than many sparrows.”

Luke 12:6-7

Ladies, let’s become women who stop abusing ourselves with Satan’s lies and believe God’s truth. We do not need to be slaved to our insecurities and self-criticism. We can break the chains and learn to love ourselves as Christ loves us. We can believe and see God’s truth. Let’s proclaim this today!

“For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,”

Ephesians 5:29

Dear Father,

Forgive me for abusing myself. I want to believe your truth and see myself the way you see me. Lord, help me to stop criticizing myself and to gain security knowing that I am your daughter. Help me to overcome these lies and attacks because I know anything that is negative and anxious does not come from you. We rebuke any negativity and anxiety in the name of Jesus because we believe that in your power that we can see ourselves in a new light. Thank you Jesus for dying for me and loving me unconditionally regardless of my imperfection and abusive words against myself. Teach me how to love me as you love me. Heal my heart, soul, and mind today. I love you, Jesus.

Amen

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5 COMMENTS
  • Shelby cohoon
    2 years ago

    So good!!! Love this

  • Selena
    2 years ago

    Wow! For weeks I have tried to put my thoughts into words but it seems like you did it for me! Thank you for forming the post I could not! Much love and God bless!

  • Allyn shanks
    2 years ago

    I know this was addressed to girls but as a young man who also struggles with fear and anxiety and shame of my past, this really helped me to see where I allow lies of Satan to hold me back from what God has for me.

  • Jodi
    2 years ago

    My brother suggested I might like this website. He was entirely right. This post actually made my day. You ca2#;n8n17&t imagine simply how much time I had spent for this information! Thanks!

  • Lori Closurdo
    2 years ago

    Thank you thank you – I have a 13 year old daughter who was in your group last year for a short time (we came late in the year) she struggles with friends and fitting in – sweet at pie – but just doesn’t seem to like her self – her self talk is always negative and sometimes hearing it from your mom just isn’t enough – I will make sure she reads this ❤️❤️
    ~ Lori

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